HuckleBerry Island Camping Tips

The Lake George Gentlemen’s weekend is just around the corner, and that means it's almost time for fun in the great outdoors. Here are some tips to make your Huckleberry camping excursion safe and enjoyable:

• Though not widely reported, America's raccoons and opossums are pitted against each other in a fierce turf war. Avoid getting caught in the crossfire.

• Steam all water and lick the condensation off of your own tent canvas. Using a bucket to capture rain water works as well.

• Waking up feeling groggy with a sore anus is perfectly normal on camping excursions. It has to do with the fresh air, so keep quiet and don't tell anyone about it.

• For a fun trip through the fertile fields of the imagination, we are still in discussion about bringing a TV and satellite antennae for all day TV viewing! We realize that someone out there will not want to miss “So You Think You Can Dance.”

• Remember: Snakes are freaky-looking creatures that will scare you. Why? The little guys don't have any legs at all.

• No matter what people tell you, do not take a long hike off a short pier. Drowning may result.

• Packing women's makeup and a feather boa will not be tolerated. However, extra toilet paper is encouraged.

• When facing an enraged grizzly bear, be sure to wear comfortable, waterproof shoes and thick socks.

• A good rule of thumb regarding campground etiquette is that if someone yells “FIRE IN THE HOLE,” you should not just duck, but completely hit the dirt or hide behind the nearest tree immediately. Hiding behind a fellow member is acceptable if he chooses to remain standing to watch the festivities.

• Huckleberry is home to many magnificent forms of indigenous wildlife. Be sure to carry a rifle with plenty of stopping power.

• To hike, put one foot in front of the other, propelling yourself forward at a steady, workmanlike pace. After repeating this action thousands of times, you will theoretically begin to experience "fun."

More tips to follow...